Ever since Cranky Crabby and Lobo Lobsterito were plankton larvae of their species, they were best friends. When Cranky and Lobo were grown up, a chef from a seaside seafood restaurant on a pier started to pursue them. Cranky and Lobo had an underwater version of a car in which they evaded that chef. Lobo shouted, "Cranky, the chef is getting closer, lock the door!" Cranky locked the door but the chef had a means to bust into the sea car and he grabbed both Lobo and Cranky and taped their claws. The chef laughed, "You two are coming with me to my restaurant on the pier where I will enjoy every second of cooking you!" Cranky were placed in a tank and were both scared. Cranky said, "Lobo, if one or both of us escape, we will turn to breathtaking obsessive compulsive disorder to make sure this chef crisis never happens again." Lobo said, "I agree but the chances of both of us escaping are not promising, it is more likely that just one of us will escape, and you are the most likely to escape."
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| The Chef |
Then the chef came and picked up both Cranky and Lobo out of the tank and said, "Today is going to be glorious because I will enjoy the thrill of your doom!" Cranky rubbed his taped claws against any thing that could catch the tape on in order to remove it. The chef decided to cook Lobo first. As the Chef placed Lobo into a boiling pot, Cranky pinched the chef in an effort to save himself and Lobo. Cranky then ran away but Lobo was not so lucky. The Chef sealed Lobo's fate and placed him in the boiling pot and then went to get first aid since Cranky drew blood. Cranky then made his way to the exit and barely escaped before the chef went back to work and plopped into the sea below.
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| Lobo Lobsterito's Death |
Following the chef trauma, Cranky Crabby declared that he would be obsessive-compulsive and have OCD as a security blanket.
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| Cranky Crabby |
Then some mysterious aliens on a survey mission to Earth crossed paths with Cranky Crabby and took him in their spacecraft. The aliens had sympathy for Cranky and wanted to take him to what would be a safer place for him. Cranky was delivered to a watery planet within a hundred light-years from Earth there he found a new best friend who was a Sando Aqua Monster named Sabirius ChaKhan. Sabirius is notorious for feeding others' obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
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| Sabirius ChaKhan |
Sabirius said, "Hello there little fellow, I am Sabirius ChaKhan, I am a Sando Aqua Monster who defends OCD." Cranky replied, "Sabirius, it is a pleasure to meet you, I am Cranky Crabby, obsessive-compulsive disorder is vital to my survival since a chef up to 100 light-years away cooked my best friend Lobo Lobsterito and almost cooked me." Sabirius said, "Cranky, you have a new best friend, me! I must warn you about one particular rebellious Colo Claw Fish who seeks to make all OCD lovers miserable, his name is Kyro Sparkles Seymour. Colo Claw Fish live in caves in the deepest parts of the oceans here up to 15 clicks deep and they love to tease anyone who needs their OCD." Cranky said, "Sabirius, I will be careful when I go to the deepest caves, and I have this lantern that the space travelers to transported me here gave me to uphold my OCD." Cranky then started to venture to the caves just above the deepest trenches. Sabirius said, "Good luck and do not let Kyro get you."
Cranky cautiously descended into one of the deepest caves and held his lantern and his OCD close to him and said, "I sure hope that Kyro does not find me, especially since I am out of reach of my Sando Sentinel." Cranky then noticed a string of blue lights in front of him and he knew that it might me a Colo Claw Fish; therefore, feared that it might be Kyro. Cranky asked in fear, "Are those blue lights a Colo Claw Fish?" A voice emanated form the lights saying, "I am a Colo Claw Fish." Cranky said, "I am a crab and my name is Cranky Crabby from a planet up to 100 light-years away." The Colo Claw Fish said, "Cranky Crabby, my name is Kyro Sparkles Seymour." Cranky said, "My best friend, a Sando Aqua Monster named Sabirius ChaKhan warned me about you Kyro." Kyro asked, "Cranky, do you have obsessive-compulsive disorder? I think you have OCD from your tone of voice, please do not deny it. Sabirius obsesses with cutting me in two with his meat cleaver named "Cleavy" and eating me for lunch all because I discourage OCD." Cranky answered, "Yes Kyro, I do have obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is essential to my survival so I do not end up with a nasty chef again like I did on a planet up to 100 light-years away." Kyro replied, "Cranky, you seriously need to lighten up and get over that OCD, I am a party eel who is relaxed and fun-loving, you on the other hand are constantly paranoid."
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| Straw Man Fallacy |
Cranky said, "Kyro, you just want to make anyone who happens to love their OCD as miserable as possible just to make yourself feel good. You are a button pusher who likes to think of himself as cool, you are just teasing me, so OCD must be preserved." Kyro said, "I do smell a logical fallacy, it is called a straw man fallacy. A straw man fallacy is an informal logical fallacy that distorts an opponent's position and later claims to heroically defeat their opponent in a debate. You totally distorted my argument and what you said about me has no basis in reality. The reason I want others to get over their obsessive-compulsive disorder is so they can lighten up and enjoy life like I do, it makes me sad to see others constantly anxious and paranoid." Cranky began to lose control.
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| Force Argument (Argumentum ad Baculum) |
Cranky shouted, "Kyro, obsessive-compulsive disorder is by far the BEST security blanket ever! I need my precious OCD vitals so I do not end up in another horrible situation like that nasty chef again! If you don't believe me and keep trying to deprive me of my OCD essentials, I will summon Sabirius ChaKhan and he will use Cleavy you cut you in half and eat you for LUNCH!" Kyro replied, "Cranky, I will not give into your force argument. A force argument
(argumentum ad baculum) is an informal logical fallacy in which the arguer threatens the persuadee that unpleasant consequences will follow if they disagree with the arguer's conclusion. This is illogical because threats do not necessarily prove the conclusion to be correct. By threatening to have Sabirius cut me in two, you are seriously losing control. I will still keep telling you to get treatment for and to get rid of you OCD." Cranky then stormed out and headed back to Sabirius.
When Cranky reunited with Sabirius, Sabirius asked, "What is wrong Cranky, did you encounter Kyro? Did Kyro try to strip you of your OCD vitals?" Cranky answered in fear, "Yes Sabirius, I did encounter Kyro and he did try to take away my OCD essentials, plus he called what you said about him trying to make OCD folks upset a "straw man fallacy" and claimed that it "distorts" his position against OCD. I rightfully warned him about you and he cried "force argument" in response. I want you to cut Kyro up in two and have him for LUNCH for rebelling against me." Sabirius said, "My pleasure, I will get intense pleasure out of cutting Kyro in half. Haw haw ha ha ha he he he he! Kyro, I order you to get out of your cozy cave so I can cut you in two with Cleavy and eat you for LUNCH for dishonoring thy OCD crab!" Kyro heard Sabirius and hid under a large blanket out of Sabirius' reach in terror. Yes, Kyro covered himself up completely.
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| The Dodecahedron: Symbol of Project Orion II |
Then a bullet-like submersible with a dodecahedron darted past Sabirius into the cave. The pilot noticed a large blanket with shivers of fear under it. The pilot asked, "Are you scared of the Sando Aqua Monster, I am betting that you are a Colo Claw Fish." A voice from under the blanket answered, "I am an ultra effeminate, fun-loving and peace-loving Colo Claw Fish named Kyro Sparkles Seymour and I am scared. The Sando Aqua Monster that you are referring to is Sabirius ChaKhan and he is planning to cut me in two with a large meat cleaver because I told a crab to get rid of his OCD. The pilot said, "I am Timothy Sagan and I come here to escort you to a starship that will take you far away to a safer planet. I will escort and protect you from Sabirius ChaKhan." Kyro said, "Thank you Timothy Sagan, I will swim with you." Kyro took his blanket with him.
As Kyro and Timothy exited the cave, Sabirius laughed, "Girly Eel, you think that the punite is going to protect you from me, haw haw ha ha ha he he he he!" Timothy said, "Sabirius ChaKhan, I will protect Kyro Seymour from you in the style of
The Eagle And The Beetle. I am like the beetle and you are my eagle!" Timothy discharged eleven liters of strong Sando repellent at Sabirius so he would become so uncomfortable that he left. Kyro said, "What you just discharged was an excellent defense, you just sent Sabirius packing. Thank you for protecting me. You proved Sabirius wrong about you and foiled Cranky Crabby's force argument." Cranky was still in the area despite Sabirius making a run for it. Timothy said, "I see a distraught crab." Kyro relied, "The disturbed crab that you are referring to is Cranky Crabby who threatened me in order to keep his obsessive-compulsive disorder. Cranky, you are coming with me." Kyro picked up Cranky and Cranky screamed, "Let me go you flashy eel, your naked eel body offends me!" Kyro replied, "Cranky, you need to get control, and you will see a glorious stern psychiatrist who will crack down on your OCD and treat it." Kyro, Cranky, and Timothy ascended to the starship that was waiting to take them into deep space. Once on board, Kyro got cozy and covered up his sexy eel body with his blanket before the ship took off. Cranky made a scene since he knew that he could no longer threaten Kyro with Sando Aqua Monsters.
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| Colo Claw Fish Carrying Spacecraft |
As the Bussard Ramjet accelerated, Kyro fell fast asleep and began to hibernate.
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