Clover Busts On Sando

One day in a massive bar for leviathans, Sando Aqua Menace had grabbed Colo Claw Fish and was planning to sadistically torture the poor eel before biting him in two and eating him for lunch.  Colo screamed in terror, "Help me!"  Sando laughed, "Lunch eel, nobody will save you now, your fate is so sealed and you are so doomed that it gives me intense arousal and excitement!  Haw haw ha ha ha he he he he!"   Then a voice roared, "Sando, what are you doing because whatever it is, I don't like it!"  Sando then turned and saw a larger behemoth approaching him from the direction the voice came.  Sando said, "Whoever you are, this is between me and my lunch eel, you stay out of it."  "If you are intent on picking on that poor Colo Claw in any way, shape, or form, then you have a serious problem with me" growled the mighty hero.  Sando asked in sheer shock, "Who are you?"  The heroic challenger answered in rage, "I am the Cloverfield leviathan,  and I have come to protect Colo Claw Fish from you Sando Aqua Menace!  Let that Colo go or else I will rip you apart!"  Sando rebelled against Clover's threat and warning and then attempted to flee carrying Colo with him but Clover was able to act too quickly.

Sando did not get very far before Clover grabbed his tail.  He struggled trying to escape but it was clear  that Clover would never let him escape. Sando tried very hard to free himself from Clover's grasp but his tail was getting tired.  Clover then pulled Sando closer and the reprobate let go of Colo Claw before ever harming him as a result.  Clover then held Sando by the neck in an attempt to teach him a lesson.

Sando said, "Cloverfield, let me go!  Thanks to you, my lunch eel got away unscathed.  I respond to the Force that I have with me at all times and your abilities to protect my lunch eel and to overpower me are nothing next to the power of the Force.  Biting Colo Eels in two and eating them for lunch is the will of the Force rather you like it or not!  Haw haw ha ha ha he he he he!"  Clover replied, "Sando Aqua Menace, there you go with open defiance and do not pull the "haw haw ha ha ha he he he he" laugh on me because I am fully capable of tearing you up and I have the upper hand, do you understand me?  And don't even get me started on that supposed  "Force" because it is a creation of SICK BRAINS and it clearly does not exist!  It totally infuriates me when you say that cruelty towards Colo Claw Fish is the will of the Force!  Don't make me destroy you!"  Sando defiantly said, "Wow just wow Cloverfield, you are really turning to the dark side with your threats of ripping me apart for carrying out the will of the force just because you don't like it!  I will rip my lunch eel in two rather you like it or not, haw haw ha ha ha he he he he!"  Clover screamed in a fit of rage, "I warned you and you are being defiant, you have sealed your own fate now and you are officially doomed!"  Clover ripped Sando apart and ate the Sando.

A Proposal: Cloverfield Naboo

I strongly advocate an anti-bullying Cloverfield film set in the seas of Naboo in which my flagship leviathan takes on Naboo's sadistic deep-sea denizen.  The premise is that Sando Aqua Monsters are being thugilicious bullies who get arousal and excitement out of ripping Colo Claw Fish in two and then eating them.  The Cloverfield beast would be the bigger and tougher guy that the Sando Aqua Bullies run into and Clover would be a Colo Claw Fish Protector.  I call for Lucasfilm, Paramount Pictures, and Bad Robot Productions to make this excellent anti-bullying cosmic hit.  I see someone else on YouTube in the comments section of a Cloverfield-related YouTube video completely agrees with me on this; if you too agree, feel free to leave a comment on this post.

My Flagship Leviathan

 Versus

Naboo's sadistic deep sea denizen

Cloverfield wins, hands down!

Characters that are just like SandDavid Parker Rayo Aqua Monsters

Sando Aqua Monster (Star Wars)

In this post I will show a few characters who instantly remind me of the Sando Aqua Monster.

Jabba the Hutt (Star Wars)

The only major Star Wars character that I can liken Sando Aqua Monsters to is Jabba the Hutt but below are a few non-Star Wars characters who remind me of the Sando.   Jabba is a gangster and bully and he is as much of a thugilicious bully as the Sando Aqua Monster.  Here is the really stirred up thing, Jabba is a villain whilst the Sando is a protagonist!  Now I will explain why Gaston, the Hyenas, Biff Tannen, Khan Noonian Singh, and Miles Quaritch, and George Walker Bush are just like the Sando Aqua Menace.

Gaston (Beauty And The Beast)

Gaston is a classic bully who wants to force Belle to marry him against her will.  Gaston is extremely thugilicious, egotistical, narcissistic, cruel, controlling, arrogant, and bragging about how great he is.

Shenzi, Banzai, & Ed (The Lion King)

This hyena trio were bullies who love picking on Timon.  I remember not liking this trio and loving to hate them for their cruelty towards Timon the Meerkat.  The Sando Aqua Monster instantly reminds me of those three thugilicious hyenas from The Lion King.

Biff Tannen (Back To The Future)

Biff is a Hill Valley bully who loved to attack Marty McFly because he is jealous of Marty regarding Doc Brown's Deloran.  This guy's favorite pejorative is the word "butt head" and he frequently sprays that word a lot.

Khan Noonian Singh (Star Trek)

The one Star Trek character who is just like a Sando Aqua Monster is ex-dictator Khan Noonian Singh from the Star Trek TOS episode "Space Seed" and its motion picture sequel Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan.

Colonel Miles Quaritch (Avatar)

Colonel Miles Quaritch is the head of security at Hell's Gate on Pandora and he was a military bully.  Miles was tenacious, cruel, warlike, violent, and forceful.  I love to hate this character too for his predilection for militarism.  Avatar is now my number one all-time favorite movie that was ever made to date.

George Walker Bush (real life)

One real person who instantly reminds me of Sando Aqua Monsters is the 43rd president of the United States, George.  George invaded Iraq in an attempt to finish what his dad started despite international disapproval of that asinine war.  George used to put little firecrackers or bombs in frogs and blow them apart when he was a child, this is NOT a joke!

David Parker Ray (real life)

Another real individual who was just like Sando Aqua Monsters was a sexual sadist and serial killer named David Parker Ray who lived in Truth Or Consequences New Mexico.  DPR tortured young women for his own sadistic amusement and even filmed it on VHS Tapes.  He had a custom made trailer that was also a torture chamber which he called the "Toy Box".  DPR died of a heart attack just before the first day of his sentence.

Captain Chantal DuBois (Madagascar 3)

UPDATE: A contemporary 2012 character who instantly reminds me of the Sando Aqua Monster is Captain Chantal DuBois from Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted who is extremely cruel in her profession.

Cloverfield Versus Sando Aqua Monster: Moving The Goalposts!

Now  I will talk about a CHEATING tactic known as Moving the Goalposts!

Definition: A unfair cheating tactic in which someone suddenly changes the original standards of proof once their opponent as met them.  This is a desperate means of claiming victory when one has clearly lost the debate.  This is not only illogical, this is CHEATING!

Sando wankers when confronted with the overwhelming evidence that their mascot is guaranteed to be beaten in fights with Godzilla or the Cloverfield beast create fantasies about the Sando Aqua Monster becoming a Jedi knight.  And  one  good sample is this Star Wars Artist Guild  (SWAG)) image by a Sando fan girl known  as Tussy.

A Sando lover said to have a fight between Godzilla and the Jedi Master Sando pictured above to have a clash of the use of force vs the "Force".  Unfortunately for those losers, Godzilla will still beat the Sando Aqua Jedi in a fight since his fiery breath is much wider than the Sando Jedi's light saber.  That light saber would only block a fraction of Godzilla's breath where the rest is free to bypass the light saber and burn up the Sando.  And the Jedi mind trick would be useless against Godzilla too since Godzilla is strong minded.  So the winner as it turns out would be Godzilla, no contest.

The Sando Aqua Jedi was a goalpost move against the fact that the Cloverfield beast would shred the Sando in a fight.  Cloverfield will still win the fight against a Jedi Master Sando.  The massive long frontal arms can reach out and easily grab the Sando Aqua Jedi in the arm holding the light saber and get it out of  the Sando's hand and perhaps use it against the Sando Jedi.  The long frontal arms give Cloverfield a distance advantage over the Sando Aqua Monster.  In my previous post I give reasons why the Cloverfield beast would defeat the Sando Aqua Monster.  And the winner is my flagship leviathan from Cloverfield, hands down.

Cloverfield Leviathan

 My favorite images of Cloverfield (above) and the Sando Aqua Monster (below) of all time.

Sando Aqua Monster

Cloverflield Vs Sando Aqua Monster: Ad Hoc Reasoning

Hello, this is Project Orion II's Chief Designer and I just have to post this because on a forum when I posted a thread that explains the unquestionable Cloverfield victory over the Sando Aqua Monster, some Sando Aqua Lovers used apologetics and certain logical fallacies.  But I know for a FACT that my flagship leviathan will win regardless of what the Sando fans say.  I LOVE the Cloverfield giant!  In this post I will be talking about desperate Ad Hoc Reasoning.

Ad Hoc Reasoning

Definition: A logical fallacy in which after one's position has been refuted, they look for things to to try and make their shot down argument appear valid.  This is fallacious because making a defeated argument appear valid does not change the fact that it is invalid in reality.

The following sample was by a Sando wanker going by the pseudonym of "Splatter Cat" who claimed that it was "Proof that the Sando Aqua Monster responds to the Force."

And the above image is EXACTLY WHY I want the glorious Cloverfield leviathan to destroy the abominable Sando Aqua Monster in an animal face-off and is a major reason as to why I am an atheist.  And why did this sadistic act turn me into an atheist some of  you might ask me, let me explain.  The evil Sando tortured that poor eel in the name of the Force since the Jedi in the Bongo had the Force guide them to the point of endangering  the Colo Claw for no good reason whatsoever and that is just like the SPANISH INQUISITION!  I am also an atheist because of the real ills of religion such as the crusades, aforementioned Spanish Inquisition, holocaust, witch hunts, homophobia, 9/11, stupidity, willful ignorance, etc.  I say, "Summon the Cloverfield Beast!"

Splatter Cat's pathetic Ad Hoc Reasoning does not change the fact that the mighty Cloverfield animal will win the fight.  I did research on the two clashing predators before predetermining the outcome.  The Cloverfield beast is about TWICE the length of the Sando and is wider than the Sando is long with the frontal arms outstretched.  Cloverfield was bombed TWICE and survived blasts that would have otherwise decimated a Sando Aqua Monster and remained relatively uninjured from such attacks.  The 160-200m Sando was a full grown adult while this animal despite being bigger than Sando was only an infant/juvenile.  This animal probably has Bucky balls in its skin and nanotubes in its bones etc.  It can punch through entire steel structures with ease.  Plus it has parasites that drop off by the hundreds at any one given time that only one of them biting a human can cause a human to explode.  Hundreds of these dog-sized parasites would seriously injure a Sando Aqua Monster.  Face it, the Cloverfield behemoth has the ultimate advantage over its Sando Aqua Opponent.  The Cloverfield creature despite being a baby is thousands of years old, older the the precious 6,000 years that creationist zombies such as NephilimFree like to believe is the age of Earth and the Universe.  The Sando can only live about one century while the Cloverfield species matures slowly into deep time and has a staggeringly long lifespan.  Plus I am convinced that the Cloverfield animal can perform interstellar travel via some sort of warp drive which the Sando cannot do.  At last I will have my REVENGE against the Sando Aqua Menace!

Cloverfield Specs:

Total Length: 365.8 meters
Maximum Width (arms outstretched): 225.6 meters
Height: 153 meters

Above is an Audio Surf video to the mood song for the looming Cloverfield victory over the Sando Aqua Monster: Time Is Running Out ~ Muse